one of the most interesting things i learnt in therapy was about what kind of people i want in my life – platonically, emotionally, sexually. at the beginning of the year i was grieving the loss of a relationship i had had with someone for two years, and r said to me ‘would you have liked this man to father your children?’ and i automatically responded with ‘lmao wtf i’m 21 i’m not thinking about children.’ and she was like ‘maybe not, but if you had have been born 120 years ago there’s a high chance you would have been married by now. in 5-10 years you might want to have children and let me tell you that 5 years is not too far away.’ and i replied with ‘this is a little too confronting to think about.’ and r said, ‚if it’s too confronting, think about if the men you spend time with would make a good father to someone else’s children, not necessarily yours but another’s. do they have honourable qualities?’ these days i judge the people that i date and the people that i spend time with by whether they would be an honourable parent, not of my children but just in general. i was driving home with my friend nathan the other day and we were talking about what kind of people we want to be surrounded with, and we both agreed that we wanted to be around people who we could learn things from and who we aspire to be like. and he said ‚i am friends with you because you are deeply empathetic and intelligent.’ and it is true that he is also an honourable and very understanding human being and that he has many qualities that i aspire to have. i don’t know. think about if the people you date or the friends you choose to spend time with are people who would make excellent parents. just think about it.

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